During childhood, our parents have to initiate difficult conversations with us. They must teach us about education, relationships and even our mortality. However, there is a time that the tables turn, and we initiate difficult conversations with them.
One of those conversations deals with estate planning and their wishes surrounding their passing. It’s critical for children to reach out to their parents and learn what they want in case they are mentally or physically incapacitated.
Start with their current plans
Beginning the conversation by asking what plans are already finished. Do they have a will? Have they selected a durable power of attorney? Do they need to establish any trusts? Asking these questions will gauge where you should start in estate planning and where your parents should focus their efforts.
Be frank about their finances
Once you know their current estate plans, you need to dive into their financial situation. Ask them to be brutally honest about their accounts now. You do not want to deal with mountains of debt in probate court or among dozens of relatives.
Be empathic to their wishes
As your parents open up to you, discuss what their preferences are surrounding care, arrangements and anything else. You should allow them an opportunity to express their deepest desires for their estate plan. And you need to be sympatric to their wishes – no matter how much you disagree.
Don’t pressure them
You must remember not to pressure your parents into a specific plan or situation. Try to work with them to decide the strategy that helps them in the long term and makes your life easier, especially if it’s done the right way.
